tchaikovskaya:

05balance:

Ok def was not expecting this level of relatability

*submits this to the library of congress as a culturally, historically or aesthetically significant film*

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  • #RIP 😭
  • 12 months ago
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gallusrostromegalus:

latining:

memecucker:

You can tell when someone’s frame of reference for “normal people” is more “people at the church sponsored ice cream social” and less “people on the bus”

the people in the notes saying “people on the bus aren’t normal” are the people this post is talking about.

I took the bus for three years when I lived in Honolulu and haven’t lived anywhere with even usable public transit since, but in those three years I had dozens of utterly bizarre experiences that were also Perfectly Normal. This is because the human condition is vast and also Very fucking Weird.

Kid one the bus next to me whose backpack starts moving and it turns out he’s got three chickens and a painted turtle he caught in there? This is Perfectly Normal. Humans have been catching small game and transporting it home in whatever they had since we invented bags to put chickens and turtles in.

I traded him three king-size snickers bars I had on me for the turtle because I vaguely remembered that many freshwater turtles were toxic to eat (incorrectly, as it turns out, but this was when I still had a Nokia Brick that lived a blissful, internet-free existence), and didn’t want him accidentally poisoning his family, but didn’t want to just. Steal his hard-won turtle. This is Perfectly Normal. Humans have been cautious about poisons, looking out for strangers kids and bartering shit since before we were technically humans, probably.

Having acquired a turtle, I now needed to transport the turtle to the on-campus pond that effectively served as an Invasive Freshwater Turtle Containment Zone, but did not have a bag that could adequately contain him so I had to sit the rest of that bus ride, at the station and all through the next bus ride holding the turtle like the world’s angriest hamburger. Multiple people were curious about and delighted with the turtle. This is Perfectly Normal. Humans love an animal, especially one that is capable of appearing grumpy, and hands are for holding things.

By the time I got back to Campus, the anthropology and child psychology building that the Invasive Turtle Containment Pond was in had closed, so I had to figure out how to climb the tree over the wall and get down off the roof while holding The World’s Angriest And Sharpest Hamburger. I eventually ended up having to briefly shove the turtle into by bra to get up to the initial branch and off the roof without breaking an ankle. This is Perfectly Normal. Humans are, as a species, a bunch of barely-evolved arboreal frugivores and really good at Tree Physics, and I don’t know a single titty-having bitch out there that hasn’t used their bra as Emergency Pockets at least once, if not daily.

I released the turtle into the Turtle Containment Pond and then had to solve the problem of getting back OUT of the locked building, but Nokia Brick never loses a signal or drops a call (including that time I accidentally dropped it off a 13-story building in the middle of a call to my parents and the damn thing BOUNCED but kept the line open. I miss that phone every day.) and while campus security has been carefully trained to not let people IN to places without proper ID and a call to someone inside, they assume that if you got locked in somewhere, that you got in by legitimate means and not Lemur Shenanigans, so i just called them, apologized that I’d been working late with headphones on and didn’t realize I’d been locked in. This is Perfectly Normal, people have been lying to cops since laws were invented, and will continue to do so because all cops are bastards.

Anyway, everyone should have access to good public transportation because freedom of movement is a human right and meeting a broad spectrum of humanity is good for your mental health and spiritual welfare.

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  • 12 months ago
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ashstfu:

they should invent a day that does not exhaust me and suck the life out of me

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  • 12 months ago
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  • 12 months ago
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emil:

kaijudick:

honestly i think it’s so funny when doctors are like. know the RISKS of taking T. you will have MOOD SWINGS and become a VIOLENT and UNCONTROLLABLE creature who HOWLS at the MOON. it will turn you GAY. like i hate to say it guys but youve just invented male hysteria

HISteria ♂️💯

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  • 12 months ago
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guccixcucci:

When someone says “it’s within walking distance” how far is that for you and are you from the city or are the suburbs

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  • #yea more than 2km and im out
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oysters-aint-for-me:

ropoto:

previouslysaltyfandombrat:

oysters-aint-for-me:

one of my favorite human quirks is when the power goes out and you’re w other ppl and inevitably someone says ‘did the power go out?’ like…you’re all sitting there in the dead dark, tv black, wifi gone, lights OUT but still they’re like ‘hm. well I have a theory but it needs to be submitted for peer-review’

Me, sitting in my dark room after everything short-circuited: Hm. I can’t be certain, but I don’t think this is how it was a moment ago

I can’t believe I read this post just the power went out and I asked ‘did the power go out?’

posts that make ur power go out

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  • 12 months ago
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ultraviolet-divergence:

commiemania:

image

They’re price-gouging so hard it surprised even Wells Fargo.

Wells Fargo analyst Mohit Bansal said the new pricing range for the vaccine could add around $2.5 billion to $3 billion in annual revenue for Pfizer.

“This is much higher than our assumption of $50 per shot, and even assuming $80 per shot net price in high-income countries, we see $2 per share upside to our estimates” from the new prices, Bansal wrote in a research note.

Price hikes like this are only possible because mRNA vaccine manufacturers refuse to release the patents and allow cheaper copies of the technology to be made, even though that would unquestionably speed access to more of the world. But releasing the patents would destroy the grip that Pfizer-BionTech and Moderna have on the mRNA vaccine market, preventing them from fixing prices like this. Both Moderna’s and Pfizer’s share prices have shot upwards after announcing this.

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harkgriddle:

This is a cool video for two reasons:

1. the concept and execution of the video itself

2. Someone on TikTok finally learned what POV means

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  • 12 months ago
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sandsvendor100:

apileofsmiles:

sandsvendor100:

sandsvendor100:

Oh

My God

Have You Heard The Terrible News

What happened Seymour?

They Are Printing The Bible In The Vernacular Tongue And Distributing It Out To The Lay People

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